|
|
LEAGUE OPTIONS
MCAA TEAMS
|
|
|
|
MCAA STORY
Unrequited Rage: Iowa A&M’s Obsessive "Hate Week" Meets Kansas State’s Utter Indifference
A dark shadow hangs over Iowa this week as the Iowa A&M Cowtippers prepare to face their ultimate gridiron nemesis: the Kansas State Purple Raiders. The numbers are as brutal as they are historical - Kansas State holds a suffocating 17-3 lead in the all-time North Star Conference series, outscoring the Cowtippers by a staggering 1,182 to 825 margin over twenty agonizing matchups. From absolute blowouts like the 77-24 nightmare in 2014 to heartbreaking nail-biters like 2018's 30-29 loss, the annual shellacking drives everyone associated with Iowa A&M - from the head coach and athletic director down to the bench warmers, equipment managers, and campus facility staff - completely out of their minds. "It’s not just a losing record; it’s an existential crisis that haunts our dreams and ruins our autumns," said Cowtippers Head Coach Dave Boese, visible eye twitches highlighting his frustration. "We’ve tried everything over the years to flip the script, but somehow, every season ends with us staring at purple confetti and questioning our life choices."
 Desperate to break what locals call the "Purple Hex" ahead of Week 9's showdown, Iowa A&M students have turned campus into a chaotic display of superstition and spite for their designated "Hate Week." Sacrificial burnings of purple lawn chairs take place nightly outside the student union, while biology majors have reportedly attempted to hypnotize real live bovine mascots into stampeding toward state lines. "I haven't worn the color purple or eaten a grape since 2021," admitted frantic Iowa A&M senior Caleb Miller. "Last night, forty of us stayed up until 3:00 AM buried up to our waists in cow manure while chanting our offensive coordinator's playbook backward into a megaphone. If that doesn't break the curse, nothing will."
Yet, across state lines in Manhattan, Kansas, the atmosphere surrounding the matchup is less "fierce rivalry" and more "unaware that Iowa A&M is an actual accredited institution." Kansas State coaches, players, administrators, and fans hardly even acknowledge that the Cowtippers exist on their schedule, viewing the game as a mild inconvenience between major MCAA tilts. "Oh, we're playing Iowa A&M this Saturday?" asked Purple Raiders Head Coach Cody Denton, genuinely pausing to check his laminated desk calendar during Monday's media session. "Right, right - the team with the farm animals on their helmets. Look, we respect every opponent, but our main concern this week is making sure our pre-game catering has enough turkey wraps."
That ice-cold indifference from Manhattan only infuriates the Cowtipper faithful further, creating a hilarious dynamic where one side is burning effigies while the other treats game day like a casual afternoon errand. "Wait, they have a whole 'Hate Week' for us?" chuckled Kansas State junior sorority president Madison Vance, sipping an iced latte on her way to class. "That’s honestly kind of cute! We usually just treat Saturday as a glorified tailgate where we get to wear comfy hoodies and watch our backups play the fourth quarter. I thought our main rival was still Faber College, but good for them for having a hobby!" Whether the Cowtippers' bizarre ritualistic sacrifices will finally deliver victory #4 remains to be seen, but one thing is certain: win or lose, Kansas State will probably forget the final score by Sunday morning.
Return to previous page
|
|
|
SCHEDULE WEEK 10
| (17) |
Huxley College at |
0 |
| (13) |
Georgia |
0 |
|
| (3) |
Legnbaz Tech at |
0 |
| (14) |
Mental St. |
0 |
|
| (9) |
Madison St. at |
0 |
| (16) |
Da Illini Academy |
0 |
|
| (22) |
Southern Florida St. at |
0 |
| (10) |
St. Thomas University |
0 |
|
| (15) |
Arlington St. at |
0 |
| (6) |
Adams |
0 |
|
| (20) |
Dorian University at |
0 |
| (23) |
Scorin Pointzon U |
0 |
|
| (4) |
Florida St. at |
0 |
| (19) |
Texas St. |
0 |
|
| (11) |
Nevada at |
0 |
| (1) |
Faber College |
0 |
|
| (2) |
DC (Not a) St. U at |
0 |
| (7) |
Ole Miss |
0 |
|
| (5) |
Iowa A&M at |
0 |
| (21) |
Norse Dakota St. |
0 |
|
| (12) |
Kansas St. at |
0 |
| (24) |
Atlantic Poly |
0 |
|
| (8) |
Southern University at |
0 |
| (18) |
Alabama |
0 |
|
Complete League Schedule |
NCAA SCHEDULE
| Texas-San Antonio at | 7:30 | | Florida Atlantic | ET | |
| Virginia Tech at | 7:00 | | Southern Methodist | ET | | | South Florida at | 7:30 | | East Carolina | ET | | | Nebraska at | 8:00 | | Illinois | ET | | | TCU at | 10:15 | | Arizona | ET | |
| Tulsa at | 12:00 | | Tulane | ET | | | Clemson at | 12:00 | | Syracuse | ET | | | Iowa State at | 12:00 | | Baylor | ET | | | Oklahoma State at | 12:00 | | Kansas State | ET | | | UCLA at | 12:00 | | Minnesota | ET | | | Brigham Young at | 12:00 | | Utah | ET | | | Texas at | 12:00 | | Missouri | ET | | | Florida State at | 12:00 | | Boston College | ET | | | North Carolina at | 12:00 | | Connecticut | ET | | | Maryland at | 12:30 | | Purdue | ET | | | Duke at | 12:30 | | North Carolina State | ET | | | Arkansas at | 12:45 | | Auburn | ET | | | Texas A&M at | 3:00 | | South Carolina | ET | | | Oregon at | 3:30 | | Ohio State | ET | | | Temple at | 3:30 | | Navy | ET | | | Alabama at | 3:30 | | LSU | ET | | | Penn State at | 3:30 | | Washington | ET | | | Cincinnati at | 3:30 | | Houston | ET | | | Merrimack at | 3:30 | | Wake Forest | ET | | | Charlotte at | 3:30 | | UAB | ET | | | UCF at | 3:45 | | Kansas | ET | | | Rice at | 4:00 | | North Texas | ET | | | Rutgers at | 4:15 | | Wisconsin | ET | | | Vanderbilt at | 4:15 | | Mississippi State | ET | | | Boise State at | 6:00 | | Colorado State | ET | | | Kentucky at | 6:15 | | Tennessee | ET | | | Miami (FL) at | 7:30 | | Notre Dame | ET | | | Air Force at | 7:30 | | Army | ET | | | Iowa at | 7:30 | | Northwestern | ET | | | Michigan State at | 7:30 | | Michigan | ET | | | Louisville at | 7:30 | | Georgia Tech | ET | | | Colorado at | 7:30 | | Arizona State | ET | | | Georgia at | 7:30 | | Ole Miss | ET | | | Oklahoma at | 7:45 | | Florida | ET | | | Fresno State at | 9:30 | | Utah State | ET | | | West Virginia at | 9:30 | | Texas Tech | ET | | | Texas State at | 10:30 | | Oregon State | ET | |
|
|
|
